Happy 250th Anniversary Babylon!

Happy Semiquincentennial, America! I thought about getting you a cake, but finding a bakery that makes an elephant-on-donkey special was a dead end. Then I eyed a fat T-bone, but seventy-five bucks at the corner market is a heist I can’t pull off if I want to eat this week. I considered Walmart cupcakes, but word on the street is they’re packing ’em with fishing hooks. Even a simple card felt risky—you can’t trust the post office anymore. I almost went with a gas balloon, but there aren’t enough cows pumping out gas to keep the dream alive. So, all you get is this cheap greeting from a small-timer like me. Take it or leave it; it’s the thought that counts.

CELEBRATE THIS 4th of JULY WITH WASICHU FARMS ORGANICS DELICIOUS LONG PORK! TASTE THE MAGIC!

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